How early experiences build our emotional and cognitive world
How do our earliest emotional and sensory experiences shape not only the developing brain but also the deepest layers of our subjectivity, influencing our capacity to feel, think and create?
Where connection begins: early interactions and the birth of the self
Childhood forms the foundational platform on which the psyche develops. During these early years, a child learns to feel, to think and to form bonds. These experiences carve the first layers of the self. For a long time, psychoanalysis and neuroscience evolved along parallel tracks, one speaking in the language of drives and symbols, the other in terms of neurons and circuits. Today, these perspectives converge around a shared question. How does a child become the subject of their own existence?
Before speech emerges, the infant inhabits a world of sensations and emotions. Donald Winnicott showed that a mother who is sufficiently good, neither perfect nor absent, anchors the infant’s sense of continuous existence. Affective neuroscience now confirms this view. Early interactions synchronize biological and emotional rhythms between parent and child. Mirror neurons allow the infant to recognize internal states through the emotional expressions of others.
These exchanges can be imagined as small waves on water. Every smile, every subtle movement from the adult leaves an imprint on the young psyche. When a baby cries and receives a comforting embrace, its heart rate stabilizes and anxiety subsides. Such simple gestures become the first emotional regulation circuits in the brain and the invisible foundation of affective security. Like a young tree that bends without breaking in the wind, the child builds inner stability through resonance with another.
Imagine a newborn startled by a sudden noise. If a parent responds with a gentle voice, a reassuring touch and a warm expression, the infant learns not only that the external world can be surprising but that fear can be transformed into safety. This parent–infant co regulation lays down the early neural architecture of emotional self regulation.
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How the body grounds our sense of being
Psychoanalyst Didier Anzieu conceptualized the skin self, a psychic envelope constructed from sensory and emotional experiences. Neuroscience shows that awareness of bodily signals such as heartbeat, breathing and muscular tension supports the sense of self. Secure attachment is not only a source of emotional comfort. It organizes neural circuits and strengthens the capacity to regulate emotions and to feel alive within relationships.
To picture this more concretely, one might imagine the skin self as a cocoon of silk, protective yet permeable to the warmth and light of affective experience. Every splash of water, every shared laugh during bath time or story time becomes a thread in this cocoon. It is similar to the invisible stitching that holds a garment together. Hidden, yet essential for its strength.
A child who is held after falling learns that pain is temporary and that the presence of a caring adult can soothe distress. Over time, such repeated interactions sculpt both the psyche and the neural networks involved in attention, emotional memory and empathy.
Invisible imprints: early experience and the unconscious brain
Freud described unconscious memory as a repository for early experiences that cannot be recalled consciously. Today, neuroscience identifies these traces within implicit memory involving the amygdala, hippocampus and prefrontal cortex. Early experiences, whether nurturing or distressing, are encoded in the brain and shape future behaviors, sometimes without our awareness.
A child comforted in the presence of a loud barking dog may later display a flexible emotional response to animals, even without explicit memory of the event. These experiences are like invisible engravings in the psyche. They orient our reactions and decisions quietly and persistently. One may compare these traces to Ariadne’s thread, linking past experiences to present behaviors even when conscious memory has faded.
A deep implicit sense of safety can promote exploratory behavior in adulthood, the ability to take considered risks and to form trusting relationships. Conversely, repeated experiences of fear or neglect can create circuits of heightened vigilance. Implicit memory therefore becomes an invisible yet enduring foundation of personality.
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The roots of genius
Several influential figures illustrate how childhood molds both the psyche and creative potential. Albert Einstein grew up in a modest but intellectually stimulating environment. From an early age he demonstrated boundless curiosity and an ability to solve abstract problems. Early exposure to scientific ideas and to autonomous thinking helped shape his original reasoning and scientific creativity. Einstein often recalled spending hours imagining experiments in his room, transforming it into a miniature laboratory of thought.
Virginia Woolf experienced early maternal loss and instability within her family. These experiences nurtured a heightened sensitivity and a rich inner world that later infused her writing and her exploration of consciousness. Early trauma appears to have structured her ability to analyze emotions and convert them into literary insight, turning vulnerability into creative strength.
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart grew up under the guidance of a highly skilled father who demanded discipline while fostering intellectual and musical stimulation. Early exposure to complex music enabled Mozart to develop exceptional technical mastery and creative depth. Every lesson and repetition contributed to motor, auditory and emotional learning woven into a dense and flexible psychic fabric.
These examples show that childhood, through its mix of constraints, stimulation and emotional experience, shapes intellectual and emotional trajectories. One might say each childhood experience becomes a note in the score of a person’s inner life and future creativity.
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The transforming power of words
Wilfred Bion introduced the concept of the alpha function, the capacity to transform raw emotions into elements that can be thought about. Neuroscience confirms that putting emotions into words modifies amygdala activity and calms the limbic system. This process allows the child to become the agent of their inner life. Speech is not only communication. It is a tool of affective regulation that links the psychic to the neural.
When a parent explains why an approaching storm might feel frightening, they do more than reassure. They help the child organize and understand that fear. The raw emotion becomes a thought. This process is like mapping a river. What was once a turbulent torrent becomes a steady current, nourishing reflection instead of overwhelming the psyche.
Play as training for real life
For Winnicott, play is a transitional space where the child experiments with the boundary between inner and outer worlds. Neuroscience shows that play stimulates the prefrontal cortex and supports cognitive flexibility and emotional regulation.
When a child invents stories with dolls, figurines or blocks, they explore roles, rules and imaginary conflicts. Play becomes a private laboratory where cooperation, authority, creativity and self expression are rehearsed. Pretend play serves as preparatory training for real life. Playing doctor, magician or sea captain teaches emotional management, problem solving and the ability to project oneself into the future.
Symbolic play helps the child navigate absence, loss and the passage of time. It supports the emergence of an autonomous subject capable of meeting reality with resilience and creativity.
How love shapes the brain
The emotional environment leaves lasting marks on the brain. Children who grow up in a secure climate develop a denser prefrontal cortex and stronger connections among regions responsible for emotion regulation. In contrast, chronic stress or neglect can alter the hippocampus and the mechanisms involved in fear regulation.
Love, tenderness and spoken interaction are not only symbolic acts. They literally influence brain structure and shape emotional capacity. Singing, telling stories or playing together in the evening are more than simple rituals. They are acts of long term construction. One may think of this as planting a tree. Each attentive gesture nourishes the psychological root system that will bear fruit throughout life.
The child we carry into adulthood
Every adult carries within them the living traces of childhood. Psychotherapy, especially psychoanalytic therapy, helps revisit these imprints, give them meaning and integrate them. Transference can be understood as a neuro affective repetition of early experiences, offering the possibility to reorganize old emotional circuits.
Revisiting childhood allows us to engage with these invisible traces and transform them into resilience, creativity and relational capacity. It resembles returning to the studio where one first learned to paint. Some colors were poorly mixed, some techniques clumsy. By learning again how to use the brush, new and harmonious creations become possible.
Childhood forms the bedrock of our psyche, where emotional experience and brain architecture intertwine. It shapes our choices, our relationships and our way of engaging with the world. By bringing together psychoanalysis, neuroscience and concrete examples from writers and creators, we understand that emotional education, speech and play are not luxuries. They are essential foundations for human development.
Childhood plants invisible roots. Adulthood decides how high they allow us to grow.
References:
Anzieu, D. (1989). Le Moi-peau. Dunod.
Bion, W. R. (1962). Learning from experience. Heinemann.
Chan, S. Y., Ngoh, Z. M., Ong, Z. Y., et al. (2024). The influence of early-life adversity on the coupling of structural and functional brain connectivity across childhood. Nature Mental Health, 2, 52–62.
Fonagy, P., Gergely, G., Jurist, E., & Target, M. (2002). Affect regulation, mentalization, and the development of the self. Other Press.
Izaki, A., Verbeke, W. J. M. I., Vrticka, P., et al. (2024). A narrative on the neurobiological roots of attachment-system functioning. Nature Communications Psychology, 2(1), 96.
Malave, L., van Dijk, M. T., & Anacker, C. (2022). Early life adversity shapes neural circuit function during sensitive postnatal developmental periods. Translational Psychiatry, 12(1), 306.
Solms, M., & Turnbull, O. (2002). The brain and the inner world: An introduction to the neuroscience of subjective experience. Other Press.
Winnicott, D. W. (1965). The maturational processes and the facilitating environment. International Universities Press.
Flora Toumi
Psychoanalyst, Researcher at the Paris Brain Institute, and Doctor of Philosophy
Flora Toumi holds a PhD in Philosophy and is a neuropsychoanalyst and clinical sexologist specializing in resilience and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). She works with both civilians and members of the French Special Forces and the Foreign Legion, using an integrative approach that combines Ericksonian hypnosis, EMDR, and psychoanalysis.
As a researcher at the Paris Brain Institute, she regularly collaborates with neuropsychiatrist Boris Cyrulnik on the processes of psychological reconstruction.
Flora Toumi has also developed an innovative method for PTSD prevention and founded the first national directory of psychoanalysts in France. Her work bridges science, humanity, and philosophy in a quest to unite body, soul, and mind.
